Throughout my entire life, I have noticed a sabotaging pattern within human beings. Thanks to recent work done by Eckhart Tolle, author of the “Power of Now” and “The New Earth”, I am able to fully explain what Ive been experiencing. I see monsters. I see monsters exist inside of human beings. I first started seeing this monster inside of me. This creature would show up right when I was about to achieve my goal. I would literally be on the 1 foot yard line and somehow fumble the ball away instead of punching it in for a touchdown. In the back of my mind, I was thinking, that somehow I didn’t deserve this happiness. I was purposely subconsciously sabotaging my success.
“There is an unseen force that causes us to unconsciously seek pain over and over again. Of course no one would do this consciously. No one likes to suffer. And yet we unconsciously create repetitive and unnecessary conflicts. These self-destructive habit patterns are known as the Pain Body.
I began to see a correlation between this personality disorder and my unresolved childhood trauma. As a child, I can remember my mother taking her frustrations out on me for the most trivial events. For example I was awaken out of my bed at 3am because I didn’t clean the 1 fork that was left in the sink. My mother was screaming and yelling at the top of her lungs like I had just I had just committed a major crime. That’s just one of many examples where I would scratch my head and ask myself “Is this what they call love because this shit is crazy”. It wasn’t until very recently that I asked my mother had she been sexual molested. She openly confessed for the FIRST TIME IN HER LIFE that she has had reoccurring dreams of being molested as a child. Finally an explanation that described this Jekyll and Hyde persona. My mother had never resolved her childhood trauma so unfortunately, this injury was passed on to me. She suppressed it, she ignored it, and she allowed it to grow. We continue to absorb pain from the past. From Slavery, from being oppresses, and from our parents. I guess that’s how we pass on our sins to our children. My #1 goal in life is to make sure this doesn’t get passed along to my son.
“It is a powerful unconscious force with great momentum. It’s purpose is to continue the pattern – to bring us pain and to extract energy. Once it gets you to unconsciously identify with it. It can then rise up, take you over, become you, and live through you, and get its “food” through you. It will feed on any experience that resonates with its own kind of energy, anything that creates further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, violence, and even illness.”]
But this behavior didn’t stop with my mother. I would see it in women who I have dated, women who are friends, wives of my friends, etc. This behavior became quite common within my environment. In fact, when I would explain my experiences with my friends they would tell me “Michael get with the program, this is normal. Weather they were rich, poor, white, black, ghetto, independent they all exhibited the same petty, cheap, non-trusting, possessive, controlling, delusional, entitled, defensive, projecting behavior. The pattern was so consistent that it appeared to have a consciousness like “The Agent” from the Matrix that had the ability to teleport it’s consciousness to any human connected to the Matrix. I was only able to recognize this pattern in others because I was able to recognize the pattern in myself.
“Prior to influx of negative thinking, a wave of emotions invades your mind as either a dark heavy mood, anxiety, or anger. The pain body, when it has taken you over, will create a situation in your life that reflects back its own energy frequency for it to feed on. Once the pain body has taken you over, you want more pain. You become a victim or a perpetrator. You want to inflict pain, or you want to suffer pain, or both. There isn’t really much difference between the two. You are not conscious of this, of course, and will vehemently claim that you do not want pain. But look closely and you will see that your thinking and behavior are designed to keep the pain going, for yourself and others.”
This is where I started to see the possibility of a predator parasite, an organism that lives in or on another organism (its host) and benefits by deriving nutrients at the host’s expense. In this case, the predator parasite temporarily takes over our bodies and get us to do negative things to ourselves and to others so that they can eat our negativity as food, as nourishment, as a vehicle to sustain life. A perfect representation of this demonic relationship comes from the animation feature film “Monsters Inc.” Even though the film was marketed to children, the theme was very sophisticated. Another world in another galaxy was sustaining their life force from Monsters scarring humans. Only, in this case, the Monsters are resurrected by the pain we suppress inside our bodies.
“The pain body awakens from dormancy when it gets hungry and time to feed. The pain body that is ready to feed can use the most insignificant event as a trigger. If there is no body around, the pain body will feed on your own thoughts. when your thinking becomes deeply negative. All thoughts are energy and the pain body is feeding on the energy derived from negative thoughts. But Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible.”
The more I look, the more I see the Matrix as real and how humanity is really being used as a battery.